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So today I was stressing myself out super hardcore over my first test. Gave myself some terrible heartburn and everything.
Well in this class, the teacher assigns us a number, we stick the number on the test instead of our name and have peers grade our tests afterwards. Then he goes through the tests and calls out the numbers and the scores. No one else knows your number so know one knows what you got except you. Pretty cool concept and you get immediate response to what you got on the test.
Super stressed. I studied but wasn't 100% on somethings. Especially when I read them on the test. Gave myself a damn anxiety attack in class and didn't have my meds on me.
He goes through the tests.
"Number 29, perfect score and got the extra credit right."
It didn't make my heartburn go away >.>
On another funny note, afterwards I was to go see my choir teacher to go over the solos with the other soloist. She wanted us to come up with how we wanted to arrange the song and what key and such.
I walk in and he is sitting there going "We should totally do it like Maynard did with his cover of it! He did it in this awesome minor key and it would sound amazing. Though not sure where Cassie will stand on that."
"My stand on that? I'll sing an octave higher since I can't go that low, and that key is fricken EPIC."
So we totally are going to ROCK that song. It's always nice when musicians can get together and think on the same page on some stuff.
Thanks, and yes, it was a 100! +10 extra points XD
I'm destressing and trying to relax but I'm rather pooped. I think being jabbed in the arm after school didn't help.
22:10 Aug 29 2011 Times Read: 730
One of my biggest fears about going back to school and jumping back into the music scene was how well I would fare vocally.
Well I would think anyone in a similar situation would a bit scared. I haven't sang in a choir in quite a few years and I was worried that I would be a bit out of practice and if I lost that touch I had.
Guess I didn't?
I am doing work-study with my music/choir teacher. She left for a bit and told me to put whatever music I wanted to listen to on while I was working. Well naturally I was singing along with it.
She came into the room and heard me belting out along with some Blue October. (I was red at this point) She commented about the song she was going to let members audition for tomorrow in class but just changed her mind.
She asked me if I mind singing the solo for one of the songs we are doing for the radio show. (fuck yes!)
I'll be singing part of the song "Imagine" as a solo.
I'm excited and nervous at the same time. It's an amazing and powerful song with a LOT of meaning. I don't want to screw it up. There are two solo parts she is doing, one female and one male. Then the entire group will do parts together.
Last night Sean and I got talking. He noticed the stress and how it was already getting to me and we discussed how me taking that extra class might not be a good idea since I'm already getting frustrated with how it works.
Apparently I'm not cut out for online learning. It just is not my thing.
I need to be in a classroom with a teacher actually teaching. I need to see and hear the things going on. The things I need to learn. I can read just fine, but I don't retain information the same way as if I was listening to a teacher give a lecture. I also don't get the ability to go up to a teacher and point out something in the book and ask them to clarify it for me. Sure, I can ask a teacher online to clarify a section. But it takes a few days and it might not get clarified the way I need it to be.
So I ended up dropping my freshman composition class and I'll take it in the spring. I'm not super worried about my grammar and writing skills. If I have an issue, I'll send my papers off to a friend or my mother. My friend (and fellow guild leader) is a college professor and has offered to proofread for me if I need it. It also helps that my writing skills didn't slip too much over time due to writing here in my journal.
So life is good. I have my paper that is due tomorrow done. I have read (skimmed) through the first two chapters in my psychology book, and I'm retaining most of the information from Rock and Roll history without much note taking. Choir is coming as natural as breathing for me. I just need to rebuild my range and rock it.
Met a few people, have been focused on work-study so I can make some extra money. A whole bunch of good stuff. My work-study is easy though. It's in the music room organizing sheet music. I just need to get my groove and go.
My mother asked me if I knew what size I wore at torrid. Well that's an obvious answer (yes) so she helped me pick out a really nice gown from there and offered to pay for it. :)
I know what size top I wear there. We based it off the top size and not my ass size. My behind is smaller than my top. I'm 110% sure of that one.
The dress?
This one: http://www.torrid.com/torrid/Clothing/Dresses/Black-Kimono-Maxi-Dress-595665.jsp
Yeah, not fancy. Sorry, this is for a choir concert. Not some ball. I went for comfort/ease over glam on this one. No need to find shoes since I'll wear my black ballet flats. I'm cheap.
Everything went great. I overreacted for nothing lol
First class I even earned myself some extra credit!
The quiz was pretty simple. Name that tune. She would play a little bit of a song and we either had to name the artist or the song, if we could name both we could get extra credit.
She did one song per person. My song?
Needless to say, I knew it. From the moment it started. Off to do my homework!
Btw. I don't envy the person that got Imagine by John Lennon and got it wrong...
Anyways, home to ourselves. Interesting to find out that he ended up getting today off instead of having to work. Was nice spending time with him alone.
We had a nice dinner and watched Tangled together. Not sure what the rest of the evening will bring, but I'm sure it will be fun.
One more day of freedom and then it's off to busy stress land!
Good news and almost funny news. AFTER I bought all my books, my father (the sperm donor asshole) asked me for my paypal information. I gave it to him. This morning I found myself 300 dollars richer ._.
Has anyone used a pedegg before? And how well does it work? o.o
See I have some funky feet. My feet are incredibly dry and the skin is hard. No amount of lotion really helps anymore. My pumice stone isn't really helping the case. They get so rough that when I brush up against Sean it causes him pain. And if there isn't some sort of lotion applied, it causes me some pain/burning.
I've tried so many different lotions and nothing is helping. So short of shaving off the top of my skin (which I've done and that only helps for a day or two) what do you suggest oh great beauty gurus of VR?
I have this and I find it works really well. If you keep up with it, and don't take toooo much off (or it hurts a bit the next day) it keeps everything really soft. I take off a couple layers, and then lotion up, and my feet are sooooo amazingly soft.
Guess I'm giving that a shot then. I'm pretty sure most of this damage is from wearing flip flops all the time. :s
05:13 Aug 18 2011 Times Read: 800
School officially starts tomorrow, but I don't attend classes until Monday. My online classes start tomorrow though. :/
The...one class online. xD
Can't sleep. Haven't been able to. All this stress is getting to me. And no one to really talk to. Bleh. Empty house for the next few days. Sean is working 10 hour days and only has Sunday off. His parents are going to be in Idaho helping his sister move out there.
In the next few weeks we might be getting her old house though. Which will be nice. Just means I have to drive a bit to get to school. Sean only has to drive 5 minutes to work, but my drive would be long. :/
Mentally I've been stressed. Nothing more on that. School starting and all that fun.
Bleh. Pointless. Either way. I'm starting classes. So those of you that hate seeing me around here will see me less. Woo.
Got my books sorted thanks to the help of a rat and some other awesome friends ♥ The last of them should show up tomorrow. :)
The other day, Sean's mother gets all pissy about shit around the house and pulls this line "well you don't have to buy all the food, you've been doing it because you want to"
I told her that I've been doing it because that was my part of the rent. She argued up and down that it wasn't and that from now on to just buy food for Sean and I. Next day I went grocery shopping. I asked her before I went, "Am I buying food for the entire house or just Sean and I?" "Just you two."
Ok. So I did our monthly shopping for food for two people. Was nice, less stress.
Today she comes up to me and asked me what is for dinner and mentioned how she was upset we didn't make dinner for everyone last night.
I told her that -we- are having something quick when I get home from therapy tonight because tonight will be busy. She got upset.
I go downstairs and she asked me if I really bought food for just two people. Then she brought up that the food was my rent. I told her that she can't change her mind now. And she got really pissed when I said I spent all the money for the month.
Well isn't she shit out of luck on food? She's gonna have to take care of herself like she said she could. She blamed her meds and told me to not take her seriously when she's on them. How am I to know when she is on her meds or not? I asked her twice on two different days about the shopping and got the same answer. *shrug*
I was waiting for it. I also purposely bought really really good food so that they would be jealous. Like gnocchi and chicken alfredo stuff. :D
Give me something. I have to have some stress relief.
Hopefully the solution has presented itself in the form of Sean's bitching.
He came home yesterday bitching he has to work straight 10 hour days for the next month. We might not get to see each other much, but it just loosened the load a bit. After some thrifty searching and some help from friends, we may only need to come up with the last 150 dollars for the books I need. Something that will be easy to do with him working all this overtime.
The other thing I'm grateful for? One class doesn't require any books. But it will require us to purchase our own sheet music for preforming. Fine. Sheet music is fucking cheap compared to textbooks.
So. Finally everything is falling into place. And my classes are all in the same building. Yayness!
I had to put a call out to my psp friends on facebook (anyone on my facebook can see it)
But I'm going to say it here.
I'm nearing the start of school with no solution to my book issue.
The book issue being this:
My financial aid for this semester is $2,700.00
My tuition for this semester is $ 2,624.55
I'm not eligible for any grants because my parents make too much money. I'm almost 23 and live 1700 miles from them, yet it's based off them.
I'm taking 15 credits. I will be unable to work my current job because of school and because of my doctors limitations. I have to find a way to come up with money for books that doesn't come down to selling pretty much everything I own.
I'm open to suggestions and/or donations at this fucking point.
*sigh* Any wonder why I'm stressed? I've been tempted to drop already.
Don't give up yet. I am pretty much in the same boat. I have been applying to various Trusts for funding for a Post Grad in Scotland. There are quite a few who specifically fund women in further education and that can be one-off grant/loan/fees/living expenses etc so it's worth a try searching for a few that meet your needs.
I found a pretty good international one that aims to empower women all over the world, in education, human rights issues etc.
I swear Sean is going crazy with my retarded requests for school supplies.
I told him I needed hi-lighters. And I required one of them to be purple. And they all had to be the clicky kind so I didn't lose any caps.
I got a Beatles notebook for my Rock and Roll history class, a flowery one for my psychology class, and a really nice soft one for my speech class. I want my notes organized and easy for me to find. XD
I'm going to need index cards. *thinks* And paperclips. I already made sure I had pencils for Choir. And a clipboard. I know I'll need those.
I'm good at school. And organized. And a damn good note taker.
My moods are fine and stable now. It was determined my meds didn't stop working. More that my stress and anxiety took over and caused a lapse into mania.
So now I have new meds. Scary meds. :(
I vowed years ago that I would learn coping techniques to help my anxiety. I have been learning them and applying them. Today at my doctors appointment my two therapists were there.
It was a group meeting. And it was decided to put me on medication for it. I'm on a low dose that helps ease the fear.
On a good note, the meds also treat IBS. So maybe my tummy will stop hurting so much after trashy messican.
COMMENTS
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BlackMetal888
22:38 Aug 30 2011
I hate Heartburn!!
Vampirewitch39
22:58 Aug 30 2011
Congrats on the 100. Right? And finding the cool kids to hang with. ;)
meeper
00:15 Aug 31 2011
Why is it that stressing out comes to easily and rapidly and de-stressing takes hours if not days? Anyhow enjoy, choir =)
Abstract
00:29 Aug 31 2011
Thanks, and yes, it was a 100! +10 extra points XD
I'm destressing and trying to relax but I'm rather pooped. I think being jabbed in the arm after school didn't help.